"Irregular Around the Margins" is the 5th episode of Season 5 of the HBO original series The Sopranos. It is the 57th overall episode of the series. Written by Robin Green & Mitchell Burgess and directed by Allen Coulter, it originally aired on April 4, 2004.
- James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano
- Lorraine Bracco as Dr. Jennifer Melfi
- Edie Falco as Carmela Soprano
- Michael Imperioli as Christopher Moltisanti
- Dominic Chianese as Corrado Soprano, Jr.
- Steven Van Zandt as Silvio Dante
- Tony Sirico as Paulie Gualtieri
- Robert Iler as Anthony Soprano, Jr.
- Jamie-Lynn Sigler as Meadow Soprano
- Drea de Matteo as Adriana La Cerva
- Aida Turturro as Janice Soprano Baccalieri *
- Steven R. Schirripa as Bobby Baccalieri
- Katherine Narducci as Charmaine Bucco
- and Steve Buscemi as Tony Blundetto
* = credit only
- Jerry Adler as Hesh Rabkin
Also guest starring
- Max Casella as Benny Fazio
- Joseph R. Gannascoli as Vito Spatafore
- Robert Funaro as Eugene Pontecorvo
- Lola Glaudini as Agent Deborah Ciccerone-Waldrup
- Dan Grimaldi as Patsy Parisi
- Will Janowitz as Finn De Trolio
- Hill Harper as Stokley Davenport, MD
- Anthony Ribustello as Dante Greco
- Frank Vincent as Phil Leotardo
- Tony Siragusa as Frankie Cortese
- Joe Maruzzo as Joey "Peeps"
- Duke Valenti as Corky DiGioia
- Karen Young as Agent Sanseverino
- Rae Allen as Quintina Blundetto
- Frank Pellegrino as Bureau Chief Frank Cubitoso
- Frank Pando as Agent Grasso
- William DeMeo as Jason Molinaro
Tony goes to the hospital to remove a mole that is later determined to be a squamous skin cancer. Adriana also goes to a doctor for Irritable Bowel Syndrome brought on by the stress of her working as an FBI informant. Tony spends more time at Adriana's club and, with Christopher out of town on a cigarette smuggling job, is alone with her in her office. The two bond over recent problems and snort cocaine together. During a game of darts, the two have a sexually tense moment that is interrupted when Phil and Joey arrive for a meeting. Tony tells Dr. Melfi that Adriana is the kind of woman with whom he could start a new family, but he is aware of how that would lead to problems with both Chris and Carmela. Melfi commends Tony for this "milestone" of resisting temptations and expressing empathy. Meanwhile, while being pressured by Agent Sanseverino to report where Chris went, Adriana discusses her feelings for Tony. Sanseverino appears understanding, but mocks Adriana's feelings to her colleagues behind her back.
One night, on the eve of Chris' return, Tony and Adriana decide to drive to Dover to get some cocaine from her drug dealer. Tony is distracted and swerves to avoid a raccoon, which flips his SUV on its driver's side. Tony is later released from the hospital after getting a clean bill of health. Adriana, however, gets several bruises and a head injury. Tony suggests that they come up with a cover story as to why they were alone together in the early morning. Chris learns of the accident from his crew and is puzzled about why Tony and Adriana would be driving together, assuming the worst. They also imply that she was performing a sexual act on Tony at the time of the accident, given the nature of the injuries. Chris angrily interrogates her and refuses to believe her cover story about getting something to eat. At the Bada Bing, Tony gives the same cover story and deflects the conversation with Chris' supposed selfishness and wrongful suspicion. Tony tells him that he should feel lucky having Adriana and swears on his children that nothing is going on.
Meanwhile, Tony's crew plays an unintentional game of "telephone" with the story of the accident. The details get more elaborate and lurid with each retelling. The FBI gets wind of the story and believes the distorted version of an affair. Chris, now a laughing stock, goes to Satriale's and gets angry when Vito and his crew refuse to divulge what they are laughing about. A fight nearly breaks out when Chris throws his sandwich at Vito. Later, Chris, having heard the distorted story about the accident being caused by Adriana performing fellatio on Tony, comes home and chokes her. Adriana admits that she and Tony were going to see her drug dealer, but insists that nothing happened between them. Chris throws her out of the apartment and relapses. Later, Tony B warns Tony that Chris was overheard drunkenly complaining about the situation.
When Tony brings A.J. over to his house, Carmela confronts him about the rumors. A drunk Chris arrives at the Bing and empties his pistol into an SUV resembling Tony's before confronting Tony himself inside. Tony and his crew take Chris to a deserted road, where Tony prepares to execute him if he won't accept that nothing happened with Adriana. Paulie tries to intervene on Chris' behalf, which only incites Chris further. At Tony B's suggestion, Chris is taken to the doctor who treated Tony and Adriana on the night of the accident. The doctor is pressured into confirming that Adriana was wearing her seatbelt and sitting upright, and therefore could not have been involved with Tony at the time of the crash. Chris is placated, but remains upset that everyone else thinks that the false story is true and will still treat him like a fool. Tony relates the story to a bemused Melfi.
Tony convinces Carmela that nothing happened with Adriana, but is caught in a lie that he didn't do drugs. Tony tries to shift the blame by making veiled references to Carmela's past relationships with Furio and Father Phil. Sanseverino continues pressuring Adriana, but is shocked when she sees her battered face. Sanseverino, believing the distorted stories of Adriana and Tony, wants Adriana to use their "relationship" to get information or else the FBI will plant listening devices in her club. Adriana verbally explodes on Sanseverino and moves to get out of the car. Sanseverino says it is a syndrome to protect one's batterer, to which Adriana back-handedly defends Chris by saying that if it were him alone in a car with a woman, she "would have killed him." In a show of supposed solidarity, Tony, Carmela, Chris, Adriana, Tony B., and Quintina Blundetto arrive to dine at Nuovo Vesuvio, where most of Tony's crew is eating at other tables. Vito approaches them and shakes Chris' hand, wishing him a pleasant evening, and it seems that all fences have been mended.