"Two Tonys" is the 1st episode of Season 5 of the HBO original series The Sopranos. It is the 53rd overall episode of the series. Written by Terence Winter and David Chase and directed by Tim Van Patten, it originally aired on March 7, 2004.
- James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano
- Lorraine Bracco as Dr. Jennifer Melfi
- Edie Falco as Carmela Soprano
- Michael Imperioli as Christopher Moltisanti
- Dominic Chianese as Corrado Soprano, Jr.
- Steven Van Zandt as Silvio Dante
- Tony Sirico as Paulie Gualtieri
- Robert Iler as Anthony Soprano, Jr.
- Jamie-Lynn DiScala as Meadow Soprano
- Drea de Matteo as Adriana La Cerva
- Aida Turturro as Janice Soprano Baccalieri
- Steven R. Schirripa as Bobby Baccalieri
- Vincent Curatola as Johnny Sack
- and Steve Buscemi as Tony Blundetto**
** = photo only
- Robert Loggia as Feech La Manna
- Peter Bogdanovich as Dr. Elliot Kupferberg
- Ray Abruzzo as Carmine Lupertazzi, Jr.
- Joe Santos as Angelo Garepe
- Leslie Bega as Valentina La Paz
- Carl Capotorto as Little Paulie Germani
- Robert John Burke as Officer Zmuda
- Frank Vincent as Phil Leotardo**
- Joseph R. Gannascoli as Vito Spatafore
- Dan Grimaldi as Patsy Parisi
- Max Casella as Benny Fazio
- George Loros as Raymond Curto
- Arthur Nascarella as Carlo Gervasi
- Tony Lip as Carmine Lupertazzi
- Omar Rodriguez as Raoul
- John Elsen as Officer Yorn
- Sukanya Krishnan as Reporter
- Matthew Weiner as Manny Safier
- Miryam Coppersmith as Sophia Baccalieri
- Denise Borino as Ginny Sacrimoni
- Allison Dunbar as Nicole Lupertazzi
- Jeffrey R. Marchetti as Petey
- Maria Baan as Fran
- Lisa Regina as Kim
- Barbara Christabella as Patti
- Anna Maniscalco as Bernice
- Bill Quigley as Waiter
- Laurie Rosenwald as Woman
- Ginger Kearns as Pierced Girl
- Jason Ongoco as Delivery Guy
** = photo only
One year after his separation, Tony Soprano has moved into his mother's former home. As the family has dinner with the now-married Janice and Bobby Baccalieri, they watch a news report about the parole of several local mobsters: Soprano caporegime Michele "Feech" La Manna, Lupertazzi consigliere Angelo Garepe, Lupertazzi capo Phil Leotardo, and Tony's cousin Tony "Tony B" Blundetto. Tony is excited about his cousin's release, planning a lavish welcome party for him. During a meal at Uncle Junior's house, Feech voices interest in returning to work as a shy and sports bettor, which Tony and Junior agree to consider if Feech doesn't "step on anyone's toes."
One evening, while A.J. is in his parents' backyard, he discovers a large black bear and calls Carmela for help. Carmela drives off the bear and calls the authorities. Tony arrives home the next day and talks to Carmela, but it turns acrimonious when she criticizes Tony for buying A.J. too many gifts out of guilt over their separation. Tony reveals that he has been threatening Furio Giunta's life, mentioning there are hitmen ready to kill him once he's found. After the bear's appearance at Carmela's becomes common knowledge to his mob associates, Tony tasks Benny Fazio and Little Paulie Germani to guard his backyard. Carmela reluctantly supplies the mob soldiers with an AK-47.
Meanwhile, Christopher Moltisanti and Paulie Gualtieri spark a feud when their humorous re-telling of the "Pine Barrens" story devolves into accusations between them and other gangsters. Later, Chris forces Paulie to pay for their dinner. At Satriale's the following morning, Paulie demands that Chris repay him and threatens that "points" will be added on. Tony orders Chris to keep paying the tabs, explaining it is a Mafia tradition of respect. In Atlantic City, Paulie orders his dining guests to order expensive meals to saddle Chris with an inflated bill. As they argue in the parking lot, a waiter confronts Chris about his tip, causing Chris to throw a brick at his head. The waiter collapses and goes into convulsions, causing a panicked Paulie to kill him with a gunshot. Paulie grabs the money and speeds off with Chris. The next day, they agree to bury the hatchet and split the original tab.
While Tony lunches at a golf course with Angelo, Johnny Sack, and Carmine Lupertazzi, Carmine suffers a massive stroke and is rushed to the hospital. Johnny notifies his son, Little Carmine, who hurriedly rushes to New York. At the hospital, Johnny reminds Tony that he has not forgotten about him backing out of their deal to kill Carmine the previous year, which Johnny believes could have averted the current situation.
Later, after watching The Prince of Tides with his mistress, Valentina La Paz, Tony wants to reunite with Dr. Jennifer Melfi. He sends flowers and a calling card to her office. When he calls her to set up a date, Melfi declines his invitation, feeling that it would be unprofessional of her to date a patient. Later, Melfi has a sexual dream about Tony. Afterwards, Tony makes an appointment to confess his love to Melfi in person, and begins making advances. Melfi again refuses, prompting him to leave. Later, in a therapy session with Melfi's own psychiatrist, she admits her initial attraction to Tony. Later, Tony makes a third attempt to court her by offering cruise tickets, but she declines once again and lists Tony's negative personality traits. Tony calls her a "cunt" and storms out. He returns to his house to take up bear duty from Benny.